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Trigger** 99 days. I made it a total of 99 days without puki

[2060]

Trigger** 99 days. I made it a total of 99 days without puking my guts out. But I crumbled. Today. Short of 100 I went and ****** it ALL up. I told my best friend everything today. I spilled the beans that I may of along the lines developed feelings for them. I’m so stupid. I couldn’t handle it. Too much pressure. Too much stress. No matter what I do it’s wrong, always, with everything. Now I’m losing one of the only people that has genuinely cared about me and I feel it... so I purged. I purged every gosh **** thing that would come up and it makes me so sick to know how much I am not ready for anything. I thought I was making some huge progress and figuring myself out. But I was so wrong. Honestly, I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

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[2060]
Mar 13

@mcollins0720 Thank you!! That's awesome that you are at day 12! I know how hard this whole thing is and everyday counts as a step in the right direction... How I relate to you so much too. I am currently a lot heavier than I have been because of my absence of purging... It's hard but I believe we got this!!! Keep it up

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[2515]
Mar 13

gosh! 99 days! you should be proud of yourself no matter what! we cannot expect ourselves to be totally successful just because we want them. I always believe there are certain things in life that are outside of our control. that does not mean giving up but it means forgiving ourselves when things don't go as planned.

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[450]
Mar 14

@renarooroo I send you good thoughts today!

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