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So, I'm dating a separated man whose soon to be ex wife is a

So, I'm dating a separated man whose soon to be ex wife is a narc. She has terrorized both of us to the point that I think we have some PTSD. She stalks social media, follows me or him, put tracking devices on his car and phone, drives by my house, sends letters, uses their kids to manipulate him. Constantly berates him alternating with love bombing. She has vowed to make his life miserable. She got an attorney to get me to take down social media pics. Every time we go anywhere, she knows. She says someone saw us and told her. I know we just have to keep powering through, but it's hard to keep my mouth shut and give no reaction when I see him struggling and I know that this is hurting his kids. I'm not looking for answers, just someone who understands. His family is very supportive which is good. He's just so conditioned to giving in to avoid the fight, it's a hard habit to break. Also, he is starting to see what kind of person she really is and it's upsetting. We are both just exhausted from the constant drama being created. Ugh.

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[45]
Mar 13

His mother is great, thankfully. She immediately points out to him when his ex is manipulating him. His sister is the same way. They started inviting me to family functions right away and not inviting his ex. His daughter, 16 however, is a mini version of her mother. She refuses to visit or speak to his family members that have welcomed me. I in no way blame her. She is a child that has been put in the middle of a very adult situation unnecessarily. Now that he has not been living with them for quite some time, the kids are getting the brunt of her controlling and intrusive behavior. They aren't liking it, but they are understandably conflicted because she is their mother, and up until he moved out, their dad took the abuse for everyone. I've suggested that he speaks to his kids directly rather than going through her, but she inserts herself anyway. He got his daughter into counseling to help with the fighting between her and her mother, but mom is sitting in on the sessions because she can't stand the thought of what might be said about her. It's sick. So I suggested that he stop paying for any session that she intrudes on. The point was to give his daughter an objective outlet, not to have her mother dictate the conversations.

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[50450]
Mar 13

@snowflake3825, oh, my, you really do have your hands full. I'm so glad you understand his daughter's perspective.

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[45]
Mar 13

I have kids of my own and have been through my own divorce. Mine was a vastly different experience. We kept it amicable and caused the least amount of stress and trauma to our kids. We all sit together at soccer games (Me, my ex, his girlfriend, and my man). Like mature adults should be able to. My kids are well adjusted and have been very accepting of a new man and the only man I've introduced them to. They care about him as well and just can't understand why everyone can't do it the way their dad and I did. My kids are all about having happy parents and for them that includes potential step parents. I know that one day his kids will come around and realize that this was for the best. I have offered to sit down with his daughter and just let her say to me whatever she feels she needs to in an effort to just get it out. That hasn't happened yet. His son is much more laid back and just wants the fighting to end.

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